


The Final Step

by Flygavioli



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: -ish?, Angst, Because I'm late and the episode came out before I could finish, Canon always makes me sad so that's not new, Canon-Typical The Beholding Content (The Magnus Archives), Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Not Canon Compliant, read the notes, spoilers for episode 194
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29534889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flygavioli/pseuds/Flygavioli
Summary: Jon clenched his fists, looking down to the ground. Martin was right, of course he was. Did he really think he could change the world back by taking Jonah’s place? Or was it just the Archivist in him, responding to the Call of the Eye, in order to take the place that was truly his, to be complete at last?
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Kudos: 20





	The Final Step

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello, I'm back yet again with angst. I started working on this before episode 194 came out, but i couldn't finish it on time, because I'm a disappointment. But at least I managed to finish it before ep195, so that's good I guess.  
> This work contains vague implications of different types of abuse at some point, but nothing much. To avoid them, read the end notes where I say how to avoid reading it without missing the plot.
> 
> Have fun reading?

The more they had made their way through the Archivist’s domain, the more difficult it had become for him to focus on his objective. Hundreds, thousands of intrusive thoughts kept flashing inside his head, along with the ever-present creeping sense of fear that accompanied them. He and Martin were at the top of the Panopticon now, and the Archivist’s mind kept wandering around, lurking on people’s terror, feeding on it. Everything was so much clearer here, so much more intense. It called deep inside him, that need to Know, and See, and rejoice before this land of terrified souls condemned to suffer their worst fears, only for him to contemplate. It felt right. It felt like he belonged here. He hated himself for it.

He didn’t tell Martin; he couldn’t bring himself to. He was ashamed of even feeling that way, and he apprehended his boyfriend’s reaction. That didn’t prevent him from noticing, though.

“Jon, is everything alright? Focus, here.”

It took Jon some time before he could think of something to say.

“Sorry, this place, it’s… It’s a lot.”

The world had always been a lot, even before the Change, but know, the Archivist could feel everything. He was able to See, to feel every single person’s pain and fear, no matter how far away they were. And there were billions of people trapped inside this hellish world, screaming and suffering and feeding him.

Martin put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, along with what was supposed to be a reassuring smile on his own face. Jon took the hand in his, squeezing lightly, before looking back up at what was left of Jonah Magnus.

They had to find a way, to stop this as soon as possible, he thought. He wanted to believe this was what he really wished, but deep down, he wasn’t so sure about it anymore. The fear that surrounded him was overwhelming in a beautiful and terrifying way.

They kept silent for a moment, both of them lost to their thoughts. Helen’s words kept rolling again and again in Jon’s mind. _This existence can be wonderful, if you just let it_. He knew that… He hated the fact that it was true, and that the idea of giving up his quest and just relish this perfect hellscape had crossed his mind more than once since they had entered London, his domain.

 _Not so easy, is it? Keeping up your humanity_. _I’m a monster, just like you_. _You are no different from me!_ All those words, along with the endless fear surrounding him, only made him hazy. His thoughts were jumping from here to there, trying desperately to stay focused, but failing miserably as they kept coming back to the flow of fear passing through Magnus’ body.

After a while, Martin started talking again, unsure of how to bring his question to words.

“So… What do we do now?”

Jon honestly didn’t know how to answer.

“Well… There aren’t exactly many options left.”

Martin’s eyes darkened at those words.

“Alright, but _that_ can’t be the only solution, there must be something else. Anything.”

“Martin…”

“No, Jon, I’m not letting you take his place. We should just go back down in the tunnels, maybe ask Georgie and Melanie for ideas and…”

“Martin, there is nothing else we can do! If I don’t kill Jonah Magnus, if I don’t take his place, the world is doomed forever!”

They both fell silent, looking intensely into each-other, while the litany of fear continued filling the room through Jonah’s voice.

“And then what?” Martin said, resentful. “You take his place, fine, but what happens next? Because I don’t see how you becoming the- the very thing that links the Eye to the world will help in any way.”

“It’s better than doing nothing. Maybe if I take Jonah’s place, I’ll find a way to sever the link from the inside and-”

“Look at you, Jon!” Martin shouted, “You barely manage to keep it together here! How can you possibly believe you’ll be able to do anything against the Eye while literally being drowned in it?”

Jon clenched his fists, looking down to the ground. Martin was right, of course he was. Did he really think he could change the world back by taking Jonah’s place? Or was it just the Archivist in him, responding to the Call of the Eye, in order to take the place that was truly his, to be complete at last? His mind was hazy, he couldn’t think straight because of all the sensations brought to him, it was too much, yet not enough.

“I’ve had enough. Let’s go back in the tunnels.” Martin said strongly, and he turned back towards the door, grabbing firmly Jon’s hand on his way.

Before he could realise what he was doing, Jon jerked, freed his hand in a sharp gesture, and shouted :

“Don’t touch me!”

He made a few steps back, clutching the hand Martin had grabbed. Martin’s eyes were wide, his mouth slightly opened in shock. Jon hid his face in his hands, locks of his long hair falling over them, as he struggled to breath. He needed space, he needed to think clearly, but it was impossible in here. He kept stepping back, slowly making his way towards the centre of the room. _I must… I just need to…,_ he thought. _What was it again? No, focus!_ He tried to think, but he was overwhelmed. Somewhere, a woman was bandaging her arms, hiding away the bruises in hope of not drawing attention. They couldn’t know, what would they think of her if they knew? She tried to ignore the way her stomach churned at the idea that, the next day, and every day after that, she would have to bandage her body again. A man was running in the streets, trying to escape the gaze of the people he thought he knew. Somehow, they discovered his secret, and the disgust in their eyes terrified him. He had to flee, to find somewhere safe, but all around him, people looked at him, and their eyes were no different from…

Jon snapped out of his thoughts when he reached the centre of the room. Had he been talking the whole time? He looked around him. What was he doing? _Right, Jonah, I just…_ _I need to take his place to… I need…_ His mind was racing, swirling in all directions, struggling to let him think straight. Behind him, Martin was calling his name.

As he looked at Jonah Magnus before him, static rose in the room, everything going quiet.

“Ceaseless Watcher, see this fool, this pathetic pawn, who by vanity let himself be consumed by a role that was not his. Remove him from the throne he is not worthy of. Let your true servant reclaim the place that belongs to him, and bear him the crown of your realm.”

The green light that surrounded him grew brighter. The Archivist’s senses were sharper than ever, he could See _everything_. It felt blissfully amazing, and he let a content sigh, closing his eyes in satisfaction, opening his Eyes. He Saw Martin at the other side of the room, Saw the long shining traces of his tears. Martin’s horrified look was drawn on his face, and the Archivist could only shiver with pleasure as he took in the desperate terror of the man, all his fears and all his doubts, from his most private secrets to his deepest nightmares.

The Archivist let the whole world open before him, and he shuddered at the wonderful feeling of fear that travelled through him.

He felt complete.

And that was all that mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> TW: the abuse part starts after "What was it again? No, focus! He tried to think, but he was overwhelmed." and last for the rest of the paragraph.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this reading, please comment and leave kudos if you did <3


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